Tag Archives: boys

Talking about my sessuality

19 Jan

Jelly speaking.

Hey, world, um, yeah, how are you? This is sort of an awkward post to make. It shouldn’t really be, but turns out that talking for the first time about your sexuality to the internets sort of is.

Let’s start with girlllsssss. After all, that’s where the main issue lies, I guess. Society doesn’t really like anything that’s out of the ordinary and being queer or gay or bi or not completely heterosexual is definitely out of the ordinary. (Yes, I am aware there are a whole lot of other ways that one can be ‘out of the ordinary’ but none of them appears to be an option to me at the moment.) I started wondering about that a while ago when I started reading about lesbians in books and on the web, heard some of my closest friends talk about it and generally switched my mind set from “Oh no. That can’t be me. Everyone I know is totally straight.” to “Ha. I could totally do that.”

I mean, I go to a girls’ school and practically everyone I know has a vagina. (Although of course if you don’t have a vagina you can still totally be a lady.) I am surrounded by girls, although not necessarily girl power, and the next natural step, it seemed to me, is to become a lesbian.

After analysing this thought further, I came to the conclusion that maybe I like girls IN THAT WAY for more reasons than they are the only people I know. For me, a bookish, loud and decidedly strange almost 15 year old, girls are my best friends, my buds through everything, and sometimes I can’t really imagine having that kind of easy intimacy with someone who doesn’t know about the woes of periods or bras or cake (although I am pretty sure that everyone likes cake).

And a lot of my friendships turn into something tight and absorbing and so full of worship for one another that I think it could easily turn into a “real” relationship if either of us let it. I have pretty major girl crushes, as you can see. Girl crushes that are actually real crushes and not just “OMG MY FRIEND IS LIKE THE BEST” although it does contain a lot of that. It seems like it could be easier to just go there, into kissing and *ahem* more, then to go through all the judging and, I don’t know, awkwardness, that seems to come with boys. To me the best friendships are kind of like falling in love anyway.

Also, I know how vaginas work and I like boobs.

What do you think? I guess I swing both ways, but girls have a lot of stuff going for them. I DON’T KNOW THESE ARE RANDOM THOUGHTS ABOUT ME


This book is a great graphic novel about Bechdel’s relationship with her father and also her sexuality. Really made me think. Also awesome story and art.

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