Tag Archives: thoughts

THE POWER OF LOOOVVVEEEE

23 Sep

Heavily inspired by this post.

Love is our only treasure. Women are told to find ‘the one’, and are groomed to be an easier choice for a heterosexual man. For us being in love means total, perfect, happiness. If you listen to popular culture (and sadly, people often do) for men, it often means a depleted wallet and nagging phone calls when you are having fun. Heterosexual love in our society, like anything else with a gendered aspect, is completely skewed so that women are passive, submissive, dependent on a man. Love, in its truest form, in the Greek ballads and I-would-die-for-you-in-a-heartbeat form, seems to have the power to change governments and to start revolutions and to be radical and exciting and incredibly powerful. But to be in love, to be a woman in love (especially with a man), changes that force into something with a tinge of contempt. A woman in love with a man means you give up power – and a man in love with a woman gains it. I know that most heterosexual relationships are not like this, but the very idea that they might be needs to be changed so that love as a – I hate to say it, as it is the title of most 80’s songs, and therefore imbues the very text of my article with a sort of desperate cheesiness – power becomes recognized.

To be in love, says the dictionary, is to ‘have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude towards a person’. My sister describes it as simply ‘an intensity’. We all know it is strong. But a woman in love has no power at all. Observe: a girl must wait for her lover. A man must search. A woman in love is giggly, silly, faintly ridiculous and pitiable. A teenage girl in love is fickle and will soon move on to the next ‘perfect man’. (She must, when she realizes that men are not all that everyone built them up to be). A woman in love must fight hard to keep her man that way too. She must not pursue him, for that would be ‘trying too hard’ but instead, perhaps, pursue one of the thousands of internet ads. A woman must change herself, squeeze herself into what someone else thinks they should be, to laugh and toss her hair and to pretend that she doesn’t care too much, to have perfect sex (and hair and smile and a perfect forever after) in order to be what everyone thinks a woman in love should be. And finally? A woman in love must put up with shit with her lover (because that comes with being in love, of course, a woman must always compromise) and roll her eyes and say he is lovable because what else can she do?

I am in no way shaming heterosexual relationships, you must understand. God, I know a million (billion?) heterosexual relationships are what they should be, rather than what someone else thinks they should be. I am merely analyzing the way even something as supposedly innocent as love is laden with expectations that the ‘fairer sex’ must live up to.

And a man in love has expectations but they are not the same, of course not. He saves her, he chases her, he brings her flowers when he does something wrong, he complains about her nagging to his friends, his life remains the same and hers does not. And yet a man in love is an amazing thing compared to a woman in love; positively mundane compared to things a man would do for his woman, the ways a man could love his woman.

To be in love as a female with a man appears, on the surface to be pure. You have found happiness, what you were born here to do. Digging a little deeper produces a melee of contradictory and uncomfortable truths about the way a woman has to love, and seems to be very unradical. But, despite my cynicism (and my assumptions) love is powerful because what else can be better than wholly trusting someone with everything you have? Being in love means changing your identity to fit them in, to partly unravel yourself so another human soul can be beside yours. If nothing else, something has to be said for the most written about subject in history. 

I leave you with the following important messages: Make radical love! Destroy things! Kiss! (if you like that!) Make sure that all your relationships include a large amount of healthy communication and reciprocal compromises! Never feel forced into anything you want to do! Much love is anti-establishment, so please continue! I don’t know why you’re reading a 700-odd word essay about heterosexual love written by a probably-never-been-in-love not heterosexual 15 year old girl, but thanks anyway! I wrote this largely after midnight, so don’t judge!

thank

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Capitalism, can you not.

11 Sep

A bit of a rant about capitalism from Lilipop. I didn’t even spell check so sorry for mistake and I would just like to emphasise this is not meant to make any sense!

I don’t even think I can fucking live in a capitalist society any more. My entire worth, the only thing that is valuable about a person is their earning potential. FUCKING PRIVITISATION. Our system is being Americanised faster than anyone realises but WHY. Its not like the American system is working in America, more children are living on or below the poverty line each year, politians think that’s its fine and dandy to leave people starving on the streets (“They have the choice of paying for their own houses food and medical care” go fuck yourself) social mobility is a fucking joke. We have this idea in the UK of the US as a shining golden meritocracy lolz no. Privatisation just means more and more and more and more money stagnating at the top 0.01% of the super rich elite. Productivity is soaring, record highs, however wages are plummeting in real terms! I don’t even know if I believe in wage labour and to be honest I don’t really know that much about all the socialist communist anarchist stuff but I know that when it is even a debatable topic for people to not have basic food and housing THERE IS A FUCKING PROBLEM. I just don’t understand, I really really don’t. HOW WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY do people think that it is acceptable for people in as developed countries as the UK and US to not have medical care? Oh and another thing. People, they are privatising our legal system. This means we are just going to have some kind of factory justice system. People wont get to choose who represents them in court and as legal aid is being slashed to a REDICULOUS degree a lot of the time people wont have any legal aid. And again, people are living without medical care and it is somehow a debatable topic???

This is in no way comprehensible and I am not an expert on any of this but I don’t think I can deal for another minute without crying so this.

Teenage girls are much like werewolves:

24 Aug

maligned, misunderstood, moods often regulated by a 4 week cycle, prone to staying up late, running in packs, hairy in unexpected places… the list of cliches (and disturbing similarities) goes on. Some of these cliches, admittedly, are true. We are dangerous. We do like tearing things up, and staying up late, and eating odd foods at odd hours. But much like the imaginary werewolves of legend, teenage girls have a lot more to them than what you hear from books and magazines. Before you say anything about us, ask yourself: when is the last time you spoke to a teenage girl as a human being?

I’m a teenage girl, and therefore my in-depth analysis of this much undermined species may be a little biased. But I believe, to the contrary, that my close position gives me a unique insight into their lives. Let’s start with the basics. What do they look like?

Well, the answer is anything and anyone. The only requirement for being a teenage girl is to identify as female and be aged between 13 and 19. That’s it. Between those constraints, everything you do is automatically ‘teenage girl’ behavior. Leading on from that, every aspect of your appearance, your likes and your dislikes, are ‘teenage girl’ things. Congratulations! Simply by existing as a teenage girl you’ve filled these imaginary requirements. Unfortunately, being a teenage girl is not as easy as that.

Due to many factors, including your age and gender, society is out to get you. Not in the pitchforks and angry mob sense that is usually associated with your hairier counterpart, but nonetheless, society has a grudge against you. As well as the usual shit that comes with being a teenager, including stuff like exams and puberty (ugh), you’re a girl, which means that your opinion is taken less seriously, if you have lots of sex people think you are worth less, you are far more likely to get sexually harassed and raped, and you are constantly made to feel insecure and disgusted about the body you inhabit.

Now we’ve got that covered, the most important question is left to be answered: what are teenage girls actually like?

Books and magazines, films and music, tell me that I can be the sort of teenage girl who has low self esteem, who curls her hair, who parties every night, who is in a band, who only ever thinks about clothes and boys, who does badly in school, who does well in school, who plays video games, who wears pink. You have to be one of these things; you cannot be many, or all, or none.

The strange thing is that I know lots of teenage girls, and none of them are like this. My little sister is a teenage girl, and she bites me hard enough to leave bruises and bakes me cookies and is still scared of that scene in Harry Potter. My friends, who are teenage girls, are, collectively: good at making grilled halloumi, passionate, lazy, literary, pretentious, loving, bargain hunters, good at maths, pregnant, not interested in boys, very good snoggers. None of them have ever been written about. No editor of a magazine covered with things we cannot afford and bodies we shouldn’t want to have has ever seen these teenage girls, angry and scared and multi-coloured and myriad in our unclassability.

Do you know what the most important similarity between werewolves and teenage girls is? Neither should be underestimated.

I am not less because i wear a dress

7 Aug

Do you like wearing dresses or make-up or flowers, or anything typically regarded as feminine? That is totally awesome man. Hi five!

Do you like wearing things that are typically regarded as masculine, such as jeans and trainers and suits (sorry, this list is shit, load of “boy” stuff is androgynous)? Aw man, aw man. We should be friends, because me too!

You know what, my opinion is that you should be able to wear whatever you want because clothes are a great way of expressing yourself. You know who says different? Meanies and really not cool people who should be sat on.

I have some serious beef with the concept that your gender defines your clothes. More beef; that dressing feminine is seen as weak and dressing masculine is seen as stronger. You know what that sounds like to me? A whole lot of sexist bullcrap. And you know what we don’t like? That’s right, it’s sexist bullcrap.

Let’s start from the beginning with this concept: fashion and femininity (and everything that the patriarchy says that we can have creativity and freedom in) is weak, say the fore-mentioned meanies (hereby referred to as sexists). Pink and skirts and knitting and floral designs; glitter and lilac and petticoats and high heels; these are seen as signs of an underlying deeply feminine frailty and inability to participate in intelligent discussion and deep thought. And yet, AND YET, if we don’t wear these things (and if we don’t behave in a manner seen as typically feminine) we are now seen as non-sexual and worthy of male contempt in a different way. Although, weirdly enough, women dressing as men are often accepted as “one of the lads” (whether they like it or not) and are thus allowed to be intelligent etc. (although of course there is loads of homophobic crap to talk about here).

More to think about: men’s clothing is typically seen as more androgynous, while women’s clothing is the reserve of bubble-headed fashion worshippers and drag queens. Am I right? (I am right.) Does this sound wrong to you? (This should sound wrong to you). What’s happening here is that women are allowed to become more masculine (see the general acceptance of jeans for anyone in the Western world) because it’s cool to be a man, but men are not allowed to become more feminine, because it’s not cool to be a woman. If you are a woman and you take an interest in fashion, maybe you are a fashion designer or a stylist or something typically fashion related, your career is not taken as seriously as those in other areas. If you are a man and you do one of the careers above, you must be gay. These are the options available to you. Girly girl or camp man; both not taken seriously. This despite the fact that the british fashion industry contributes £21bn a year to the economy, and so to even the untrained eye must be something more than silly girls and silly shoes.

These opinions (and we can all, hopefully, agree that they are bs) are usually limited to the meanies. When someone who says that they are for women’s rights, however, tells me the same thing (but with fancy words) it gets a bit more complicated. They usually say something along the lines of “If you dress like a girly girl, you are submitting to the patriarchy’s ideas of a women. You are letting the side down. You are making them think you are weak, and you will not be taken seriously. Dress like a man instead and don’t take an interest in fashion because these are the roles that they have set for you and you should not fill their expectations.” This does not make any sense, unless you are a misogynistic a-hole, which is weird because these people explicitly campaign against that crap. When I dress like a fairy, or a Disney princess, or when I squee over cute shoes, yes, I am filling the patriarchy’s expectations. What they don’t expect is that I will then become a geneticist and save the world, and when I go to my lectures I will wear a tutu and take notes with a feathery pen. It is possible (entirely possible) to be a babe and simultaneously a radical, smart, passionate, completely non-airheaded human being. These people who say anything different are saying that to be feminine is weak, which is complete shit for everyone ever, of any gender, who take pleasure in what they wear and what they do, be it typically feminine or not.

An interesting concept: what you wear does not define you. It is not everything about you. It is one of the choices you make about yourself in your decision to show the world what you are like, and so taking an interest in it should not be stigmatised for anyone. Saying that glitter is shallow is saying that women are shallow, and if you say that my extremely cute nail-polish will not stop me from punching you in the face.

Thoughts? Opinions? Does anyone have any idea how I could improve this post, or any alternative ideas to this concept?

whoops i was creative again

12 Jun

Look! I drew some more shit! Enjoy! This post leads on from my last attempt (please don’t judge me).

drugs zine 1

drugs zine 2

My mum is a Scientologist, and SERIOUSLY against drugs, and while I see her point, I thought it would be funny to make a zine based on exactly what I’m not meant to do.

fuck you bambi

This has literally no point apart from the fact that I really enjoy swearing, Disney and extensive and time-consuming watercolouring.

diary 2

Another spiky, angry diary.

moonrise kingdom 1

moonrise kingdom 2

A zine about vibes gained after watching the movie Moonrise Kingdom, which was visually wow. I made this with a friend, which was actually really fun and not style-crampin’ at all.

Another zine, this time a shitty attempt at autobiography. Although I am quite proud of the title. It sums me up pretty well, even if you can’t read the writing (ugh why did i write with such a shitty pen oh well no regrets).

iced buns and bad puns 1

iced buns and bad puns 2

This side has a fold out, on the read me page, and on it I’ve written a list of books I want to read and books I’ve read and loved.

And last but not least, the exceedingly strange drago-kitty who just wants to fuck shit up! I blame this on Cat, who gave me a request for ‘kitten breathing fire and insulting me’, and really, how would I refuse? Again, no excuse.

you suck kitty

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